Continued from Transpire
I had forgotten how beautiful the lake was! I had lived here for five years and unfortunately had not utilized its oasis-like qualities to their fullest potential. I reflected about the many times that I had been in a place, that is, a place in my head, where I could have done with an escape zone of this caliber. In fact, that’s what I often sought, a retreat. Why had I never thought of the lake before?
Currently, I am walking past a bowling green, yes that’s right, a lawn bowling green with the little black and white rubber balls, I bet they are not even called balls, much too tacky. I’m thinking how bizarre it is that the lake is a hideaway with it being bang center, downtown Oakland and all. Thousands of community conscious, local natives engage in this landscape everyday. And all their eyes, take in all the scene with the highest absorption rate possible, yet without over-peering, never intruding, their extended feelers remaining invisible to prevent offence. Exposure is the perfect hideaway. You don’t need walls to hide, just come outside. I am here at the park by the lake and I could be lost, I could be nobody . . . I could be wearing all yellow and who, who would notice? The gray city grains the local atmosphere with a shroud of “don’t look too close”.
I am on a mission, I carry a bag, and I bring it to thee, wherever thy may wander. I exit my tail-wagging-like mood elevation to remember the brief few minutes when I met Cindy the owner of the purse. At the bar, she went to the bathroom and never came back. Why did she not come back? What connection does she have to the Bonsai garden? Why didn’t I just not hand the bag over to the nightclub? Never mind I interject to myself, I am happy today. The sun is radiant, the lake’s skin is shimmering like the Mediterranean does in my imagination and it smells fresh and springy. Life Is all around me, breathing, jogging, chirping, rowing, bowling, blowing, and laughing. I laugh too. It feels good to return to a former fragment of sanity that I once wore well.
As I approach the curved road that leads to the garden center, I epiphanize and know and understand Ruby, and how greatly she has helped me. My spirit has raised its skeptical head and feels the pangs of hunger for more life. Somewhere a slice of the action is waiting for my creation or a slice of creation is awaiting my action.
As I enter the garden, I embark on grasping my greater journey. I live my own unforgettable novel. The greater context for my journey reveals itself. And just as I eagerly await the next unpredictable, random, ridiculous, episode, the next wacky chapter in the book of my life, I stop and listen to a familiar voice that interrupts my thoughts..
“Eassum, I have found it very hard to forgive what you did to me.”
Suddenly, I see disheveled shrubs and all becomes apparent.
Next: Breakup Flashback