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Mystery: Stories that involve puzzles, discovery, and enigma.
Story Location
Return to the main storymap.
Burnin’ fevah!
Posted by Eassum on Wednesday, February 1st, 2006 under Mystery
Latitude: 37.8104278 / Longitude: -122.2453252
Edit Story »

Continued from Cold Pizza

It was a stroke of luck that I had heard of the 5th amendment before, as to my dismay, when I arrived at Lakeshore, I found out rather quickly that it did not sell pizza. The sound of live R & B emanated from the overwhelmingly bland exterior. Garok better have got the place right I thought to myself. He was never one for socializing in bars. There was also the fact that I had thought the “5th amendment” was a Pizza joint, and that according to our earlier encounter at my place, that he thought so too. Bizarre! I was feeling rather clean for the first time in months and I connected the dots that this was a Friday night and that I was dressed half decently and that this seemed like a step up from the alcoholic ridden dive bars that I had been frequenting till all hours of late.

I dragged my shirt collar up from under my jacket, flicked my hair and mentally pictured Cressida falling off the side of the Earth into a place called the nether zone, a parallel dimension that exists outside of my consciousness. As I entered the bar I was engulfed by a river of over-thirty-year-olds acting like it was New Years Eve or something. This place cannot be very big I though as I was mushed and rerouted through countless morphing people canals. The crowd was going about its usual duties of buying drinks, chatting, pushing, pulling and getting their groove on to the chic shrill of the vocalist of the band. As I steered my way through the sea of hyperactive hipsters toward the bar I looked back over my shoulder to look at the singer of the band. She was on one knee with her face buried in hair and microphone, crooning in her deepest voice.

“Ooooh, never make me mad again, or I’ll steal you car and marry your best friend”

She raised her head and with a dimly lit smile started to gyrate her head in war dance like fashion, as if she was going into battle. The tempo of the music fastened and the beat transformed into a more upbeat yet simple house music rhythm. The melody modulated to a new height and grew into a new movement as she began to rise into the solar sky of soul penetration. I could not take my eyes off of her. As my neck chakra began to open I suddenly noticed how beautiful she was. I was rapidly ascending into the groove when I felt a tapping on my left shoulder.

“Do you have a cigerette” a smooth, glassy voice inquired?

“No I’m sorry I do not”, I responded, turning my head to see who asked.

The source of the voice was an extremely tall gothic girl who was caked with white powdery make up and a rather sheepish grin.

“Do you like the music, I can’t stand it” she uttered loudly, gulping down a pint of cider that she picked up from the bar. Maybe it was my craving for company or maybe the manic atmosphere of the place had taken me over but I felt a strong connection to this girl.

The PA system was going to be a challenge to overcome. I shouted doing my utmost best as best to compete with the music, “Well I’m not an R&B kind of guy but these guys seem to be doing a pretty good job of it. I like the singer. My name is Eassum.”
“I’m Cindy” she replied “its not like it used to be, all the yuppies have taken this place over. Would you mind holding my bag while I go to the powder my face?”

I reluctantly acknowledged to accept her black leather purse and wondered if I was ever going to get a drink from this crazy establishment. I pushed my way though the final furlong of floor space to the bar and ordered a Mojito. I had been abusing hard liquor of late and a mojito seemed like a step in the right direction. A tall attractive woman in her forties approached me and complimented me on my bag.
“Nice tote” she mused, “you have good taste”.
In my head I quickly reviewed the evening so far searching for something that seemed out of place, or different, racking my brain for an answer to why I was gaining all this attention from the fairer sex.

“Its not mine” I said, ” It’s…eh..this girl I just met eh…” I stumbled.

“Oh I understand” she replied, infusing her intonation with a sarcastic twist. I blushed ever so slightly.

“No, I mean, I’m just minding it for her because she asked me too…I don’t know her at all…I”, I claimed submissively.

“There is no need to explain I really do understand” she stressed in a heavily ironic fashion. What do you do for a living she enquired?

“I’m an actor”, I insisted” I do commercials mainly but I haven’t been doing much recently, I’m on hiatus.”

She smiled seductively and directly inquired “So, you’re on a date with this girl?”

I continued “No we just met and…”. I dropped completely out of my sentence because at that moment my attention shifted like a spotlight onto the singer from the band that was walking behind the bar.

She picked up a bottle of beer and turned, facing me, to utilize the bottle opener thingy that are attached to bars. As the bottle cap detached making its signature “tccch” noise she raised her head and our eyes met. The next five seconds seemed like an eternity as we delved into each other’s presences. Just as I was about to dive deeper into our mind meld, a rather peculiar looking lady with red hair, a head band fashioning a green jogging suit approached me from my left flank and grabbed me tightly by the arm.

“C’mon we got to go, we must go elsewhere” Garok exclaimed.
“Garok” I screamed “why are you dressed as a woman? , and why are we getting out of here?, I just got here.”
“There is no time to explain” he muttered.
“I am not going anywhere”
At that moment I felt Cindy’s bag rattle and for a second I thought she had hidden one of her pets in it. She was taking very long powdering her nose but then again she did wear a bunch of make up I thought. It occurred to me how strange it was for a lady not to take her purse to the bathroom too. Peculiar.

“We have got to leave now” continued Garok and grabbed my hand leading me towards the melee of dancers.

I stubbornly grappled with him using my body as an anchor to indicate my desire to remain in this place no matter how crazy it was. In the midst of all this chaos the singer from the band approached Garok and said ” He doesn’t want to go with you, leave him alone” The tall attractive forty year old also stood up from the bar and prompted me to come sit in her seat “Why don’t you sit here” she invitingly suggested. I was beginning to wonder if this was a dream, or if i had died and gone to heaven or hell. I just could’nt tell.

Next: Love Laced Larceny